Penis soup? NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!!

Someone please tell me this is a fictional article to make us all feel better about our own criminal justice system.

Best. Comment. Ever.

I'm still looking at my watch and timing how long it will take for the ACLU to show up and defend cannibalism as an "alternate life-style".....

Cannibalism on Papau has been around for centuries. The moral of this story is that payment for services by the witchdoctors is OK, but sex with their teenage daughters is a death sentence. This is no different than Texas (or most any other state). If an adult man demands to have sex with my teenage daughter - he would also have a sudden untimely death (over here we call them perverts / child molesters).

Well that's fine interested observer, but would you then make a soup out of his penis and have supper!?

penis soup is awesome!

Reality is stranger than fiction these days.

You know, its actually rather easy to tell if a "alternative lifestyle" is permissible or not. Just ask yourself "Is anyone getting hurt (outside of acceptable norms)?"

When it comes to Cannibalism obviously the person getting eaten probably isn't to happy about it.

Then there is polygamy, that always ends up emotionally damaging the women involved.

And Pedophillia, again extremely mentally and emotionally damaging (and sometimes physically too) for the victim.

Of course people get hurt in normal relationships too. You could use that as the baseline, for establishing a "Acceptable norm". Within that framework, homosexuality is OK. But then, drinking and drug use would not be ok, because it is very destructive.

But if you tried to take Alcohol away, well gee, you know what would happen. But homosexuality, now that's terrible... but bath salts are legal, but bicycling without a helmet is illegal, and jumping off cliffs is legal, but sprinklers are illegal and on and on and on...

Because we're a divided society, imposing our bigotries on each other, both ways, until nothing makes sense anymore.

It against their ethics to let the doctors sleep with their women, but not against their ethics to kill them and eat their brains raw? LOL.

Which Doctor? I like split pea soup, but split peepee soup?

Remind me not to go there for a vacation.

I said I want a penis for SEX, ,,,,not in my soup. Geeezz....

Oh come on! What year is this really?

The alleged cannibals -- eight of whom are women -- ate their victims' brains raw and made soup from their penises, according to the report.

yeeeeack.... I think I'll just have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich ...which I'll make at home thank-you.

They should pay their bills.

My favorite sentence: They couldn't find any remains. Probably all eaten up.

As to the reasons for the killings? Well... $475.00, a bag of rice, a pig, AND you want to have sex with my wife or daughter???? Penis soup de jour.

I remember the battle for control of the Papuan Plywood Forest. Apparently one of them snuck a salad because one Papuan feeds only four cannibals.

My father was a Navy fighter pilot during WWII and often told me that during combat patrols he prayed hard that he would never have to bail out over those islands as well as the New Britain islands as they had active cannibals living there. There are also many stories of Japaneese soldiers going missing and being eaten by them.

....and you thought zombies were the problem.....

"Waiter, bring a fly for my soup."

someplaces its the hand that is chopped off ...but that place you send your ex-wife and mother to

LOL even cannibles have limits and know that having sex with anothers wife or teenage daughter as payment is wrong and hey I just think maybe we should send all the sexual perverts rapest and molesters to them from over here and they would never go hungry . round them all up and fly over and when they get to that area kick them off the plane .

Ooookay...so I guess I can strike Papua New Guinea off the bucket list.

I love this story. Pass the brain salad please. But you can keep the penis finger food.

Apparently, evolution has been dragging its feet in some parts of the world...........

Perhaps they mistook penal system for penis soup.

And after their meals they were too tired to flee because they were all petered out.

Sorry

Witch doctors! They're all the same! They always over charge.

I guess they were "eaten up" with stupidity!!

Why would they charge so much?

How much is a golf membership in New Guinea?

I think this should be the next location for Survivor.

I am not saying I approve BUT would you like to take odds the problem with witch doctors demanding sex is pretty much solved?

Cannibals don't eat cowards. In their view of the world, you eat people to acquire their power. So, since Cowards have no inner strength, its just a regular snack. A warrior wouldn't touch the stuff.

A strong enemy must have great power, a witch Doctor, must have great power (notice that they didn't take them out one-on-one).

In some ways, we "civilized" cultures still do the same thing. We want Powerful people to shake our hands, hold and kiss babies- pay good money to buy a token, talisman of our favorite sports stars - the closer the item gets to the talisman, obviously the more powerful it is. Jersey, that still reeks from a strong victory... is really powerful.

Eating infected brains is how the disease Kuru is transmitted...and NO I AM NOT KIDDING. Look it up.

The moral of the story - Don't mess around with a bunch of female witch doctors. Srly, don't.

I saw a National Geographic Special on these people. They admitted they still practiced it but mostly they searched out witches to eat. They said if they did not like someone, they would say he was a witch and go eat him. I wonder how career politicians taste?

I wonder how career politicians taste?

Probably tough, stringy and greasy....

"Excuse me, waiter? There's a penis in my soup."

Cannibalism is your right as a carnivore. Some people are just born that way.

I can see why they would be upset over the part about sex as payment, but that justifies killing? Why didn't they ban together and boycott those witch doctors, that would have put an end to it!

@Scott---Antarctica has always been my choice Survivor location, but I like your suggestion too.

Yowza...

I would like to think they could, at least, make a steak from my penis and not just a soup.

Perhaps that's just me. I'll ask my Chinese girlfriend.

I told the witch doctor
I was in love with you
I told the witch doctor
I was in love with you
And then the witch doctor
He told me what to do

He said that

Ooo eee,ooo ah ah ting tang
Walla walla, bing bang
Ooo eee ooo ah ah ting tang
Walla walla bing bang...
Ooo eee ,ooo ah ah ting tang
Walla walla ,bing bang
Ooo eee ooo ah ah ting tang
Walla walla bing bang

I told the witch doctor
You didn't love me true
I told the witch doctor
You didn't love me nice
And then the witch doctor
He game me this advice

He said that

Ooo eee,ooo ah ah ting tang
Walla walla, bing bang
Ooo eee ooo ah ah ting tang
Walla walla bing bang...
Ooo eee ,ooo ah ah ting tang
Walla walla ,bing bang
Ooo eee ooo ah ah ting tang
Walla walla bing bang

You've been keeping love from me
Just like you were a miser
And i'll admit i wasn't very smart
So i went out and found myself
A guy that's so much wiser
And he taught me the way to win your heart

My friend the witch doctor
He taught me what to say
My friend the witch doctor
He taught me what to do
I know that you'll be mine
When i say this to you

Ooo eee,ooo ah ah ting tang
Walla walla, bing bang
Ooo eee ooo ah ah ting tang
Walla walla bing bang...
Ooo eee ,ooo ah ah ting tang
Walla walla ,bing bang
Ooo eee ooo ah ah ting tang
Walla walla bing bang

You've been keeping love from me
Just like you were a miser
And i'll admit i wasn't very smart
So i went out and found myself
A guy that's so much wiser
And he taught me the way to win your heart

My friend the witch doctor
He taught me what to say
My friend the witch doctor
He taught me what to do
I know that you'll be mine
When i say this to you

Ooo eee,ooo ah ah ting tang
Walla walla, bing bang
Ooo eee ooo ah ah ting tang
Walla walla bing bang...
Ooo eee ,ooo ah ah ting tang
Walla walla ,bing bang
Ooo eee ooo ah ah ting tang
Walla walla bing bang

cannibals don't eat clowns, they taste funny, or rich kids, they are usually spoiled.

These comments are pretty funny.

"Well, waiter, at least I know why the hair in my soup's curly."

Brilliant!

"one must pay 1,000 kina ($475) cash, AFP reported, along with a pig and a bag of rice, but some sorcerers were also asking for sex as payment." ...on the New York model fee structure.

When they're done eating they wipe their ass with the cash.

One cannible says to another,how are you doing? The other says,im having a ball!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[to the tune of Lizzie Borden]

"But you can't chop your Mama up in Tangi, Madong,

Not even if you're tired of her cuisine

No you can't chop your Mama up in Tangi, Madong--

You know it's almost sure to cause a scene."

Jump like a fish, jump like a porpoise, all join hands and habeas corpus
Actually, this story is less amazing than the dozens of people who claimed to see the virgin Mary in a scar on a tree trunk in New Jersey. 
Which is crazier?

If you don't understand the difference between killing and eating people and seeing phantom images in tree bark, well, perhaps you need to explain your definition of crazy. I'll stick with the people seeing images, think I will live longer.

Now that's consumer protection activism. I need to forward this to my bank's CEO and board :D

not a word from the bible quoters who usually fill this vine with god's directive for all behavior here on earth as found in the bible. or does ''thou shall not covet thy neighbor'' cover it? maybe god found this topic ''distasteful''-------then again it could be ''thou shalt not kill'' was sufficient so any further explanation not required. come on bible people -----chime in on this. you always have the answer. time to update the bible---kind of like a amendment.

@granny22

You know that one before it starts ... Jesus was a feeder, they even make simulated skin and blood... And they wonder about zombies?

That had to be Ladies Night out - brains and dick in the same meal.

I wonder if the witch doctors were able to predict their own cause of death before they were eaten? I can imagine one in a trance telling the other, 'tomorrow you will be penis soup.'

First cannibal: "Hows the cock noodle soup?"

Second cannibal: "A little bit limp."

First Cannibal: "Try some viagra with it."

Second cannibal: "Okay, but it's a little stiff now. and the aftertaste has a bit of a wang to it."

First cannibal: "Yeah, but just a weenie bit."

Oy veh

Do you know what cannibals find the hardest to digest? Old wives tails.

Sounds like the sorcerers have the same morals as a Catholic priest or Ted Haggard!

Or Penn state?

You would think so... but that is not true. There is historical evidence that powerful Lords, Kings, Barons - owners of large properties and many vassals who lived on the land. The King - royalty, had rites of "First Night" when a Bride was wed. It was supposed to be an honor for him to deflower the bride.

It was practiced in France, Part of Great Britain, up until the Victorian age. The husband got left-overs. I guess that might explain the boom in elopement in some rural areas. :)

Sounds like the sorcerers have the same morals as a Catholic priest or Ted Haggard!

When it came down to having a strapping young Son... the rules could be "bent". So, don't start feeling safe if you on had Sons!

Especially the French...

Titled How to Serve Man, right?

RAW!!!!!!!!!!!!! With Cowboy Beans

EarlyOut ... darn .. you beat me to that one! 'It's a cook book!'

Daughter asks---"How do you make penis soup?"

Mother answers---"Boil the piss out of it."

Once cannibals have proven to be a "legitimate voting block", laws will be passed to force the tolerance of their "particular appetites"....

"They can't eat ya..."

Except in Florida.

Obama is at fault, I just know it. No it's the Bush! No it's Obama! Oh shut up and eat this it's a teaparty!

No Bubba - it's a p-party.

Efficient, speedy justice system.

I like that.

They can't eat ya?... Jeffrey Dahmer used to take them to work in his lunch pail. He might have preferred his penises fried instead of made into soup.

frank, something tells me Ol' Jeffrey D liked to swallow em whole

There's a place in japan that serves nothing but penis it was on the food channel with the one guy who eats anything he loved it couldn't get enough!

I watched a group of people on the "Fear Factor" eat raw pig vaginas in hopes of winning 50K in prize money....never under estimate what people will do for $$$!

I have eaten a few pig's vaginas in my day. It was called "college." HI-YO!!!!

Mine became soupy!

It is a well-known novelty dish in parts of the American West and Western Canada where cattle ranching is prevalent and castration of young animals is common ("prairie oysters" is the preferred name in Canada, where they may be served in a demi-glace, not deep-fried). In Oklahoma and North Texas, they are sometimes called calf fries but only if taken from very young animals.

Well I am about half Scot ... and that means my ancestors ate Haggis ... so at least I now have a favorable comparison for that! FInally I understand.. it could have been worse!

Cappy. That's the funniest thing I've ever seen on a blog.

Cappy, No offense.....you look like a swell and fun guy. But, ahhhh, is that how it happened?

It was called 'getting lucky.'

I needed that.....too funny.

yea...in Jamaica, we do eat Bull Penis soup...It's call Cow Cod Soup....Let me tell you...mmmm...its good

As for the male penis....I love it the way nature intend it and ..I'll eat it uncooked too....lol

In the Republican health care plan, those who can afford insurance get the body parts of those who can't afford insurance. Instead of eating them, they're used for transplants. Not much difference really.

And in the democrat plan, we just don't get care at all.

Sounds about as valid as believing in a talking snake to me!

What? Snakes don't talk, I didn't hear what I heard? Snake says you lie like cheap rug.

This brings a new meaning to going to the head!

Yes but like it is being oppressed by the MAN! Dang didn't we learn anything from the sixties! Freedom to eat what god put on this earth!

Like a Stranger In a Strange Land, I suddenly miss the old waterbed.

I'm assuming you are making some joke that I don't get. I seriously hope that you are not really that stupid.

Wasnt Jesus a great Sorcerer? He did magic and escapes.

It is barbarous to eat brains raw! Brains should be formed into small patties, then breaded and sautee(d) in butter until the breading is golden brown. Don't believe me? --- ask Julia Child.

Ever hear of Kuru?

Sorcerers, Witch Doctors, Priests, Televangelists, they're all same. They want money and sex with their followers children. Distributing their body parts among the congregation should be an annual ritual.

Yes, 'mygirl1, I have heard of Kuru...pass the raw brains please, with a side order of prions!

Nothing say disease better than a plateful of raw brains seething with prions and the public worried about Mad Cow disease? Hmmpf.

I am fairly certain that Jesus did not say, "Bring me brains and penises and I will feed a harem."

I don't know - maybe if some filthy animal with a bone in his nose insists on sex with a teenage girl his penis should become gumbo.

I agree with Lee. But I'll pass on the traditional menu...

Lee Blake:

I agree that you don't know.

What in the world is going through your mind?

Recipes

dammit johnouki1, i was gunna say that ;)