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  • 20
    Feb
    2013
    5:36am, EST

    Study: Chinese parents bigger fibbers than American ones

    Alexander F. Yuan / AP, file

    A parent takes photos of her daughter playing the drums at a children's play area in a shopping mall in Beijing on Jan. 10.

    By Ed Flanagan, Producer, NBC News

    BEIJING -- Parents throughout the world have been known to tell a white lie to cajole dinner into a fussy child or explain the pile of gifts that appears under the Christmas tree as if by magic. 

    According to a new study, Chinese parents rank among the biggest fibbers. 

    The study in the International Journal of Psychology titled “Instrumental lying by parents in the US and China” found that most respondents -- 84 percent of Americans and 98 percent of Chinese -- admitted that they lied to their children. Chinese parents, however, were far more likely to lie to force changes in behavior, it found.

    “A larger proportion of the parents in China reported that they employed instrumental lietelling [sic] to promote behavioral compliance, and a larger proportion approved of this practice, as compared to the parents in the U.S.,” the authors said in the report.

    The researchers from the University of San Diego, the University of Toronto and Zhejiang Normal University interviewed 114 American and 85 Chinese parents who had at least one child aged 3 years or older.

    The participants were given a list of fibs and asked to report which ones they had told their children.

    For example, 68 percent of Chinese respondents reported telling their children, “If you don’t follow me, a kidnapper will come to kidnap you while I’m gone.” Only 18 percent of American respondents made similar claims.

    Sixty-one percent of the Chinese parents said they would tell their children, “Finish all your food or you’ll grow up to be short.” Just 10 percent of American parents utilized that particular little white lie.

    According to the study, Chinese parents surveyed told 15 out of the 16 “specific instrumental lies” at higher rates than American parents.

    More news from China in NBC's Behind the Wall

    The only exception was a false claim that there is no more candy in the house, which was reported by 57.5 percent of parents in the United States as compared with 42.9 percent of Chinese parents.

    American parents reported using more of what the study calls comparison lies -- untrue statements intended to generate positive feeling or to promote fantasy characters.

    Sixty percent of Americans said they would use the line, “That was beautiful piano playing,” even if they thought it sounded terrible. In contrast, 44 percent of Chinese declared they would lie in those circumstances.

    The results could be interpreted to mean that Chinese parents are more comfortable lying in general, but the study’s authors said that Chinese parents “made more negative evaluations of children’s lies,” and expressed more negative views than their American counterparts on fibs about fantasy characters like Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. Indeed, 88 percent of American respondents said they had used the lie, “Santa Claus will come to deliver your present on Christmas Eve.”

    The study suggested that the wide acceptance of parental lying among Chinese adults could be driven by a strong desire for social cohesiveness and an emphasis on respect and obedience, according to the authors.

    In other words, lying can be an effective tool in socializing children.

    Or as one Chinese parent put it, “When teaching children, it is okay to use well-intentioned lies. It can promote positive development and prevent your child from going astray.”

    98 comments

    I for one can vouch that the Chinese are great liars. As an EBAY buyer I see all the sellers from China selling brand new reproductions as "antique". In fact if you look you will see perhaps that 99.9% of the sellers on Ebay from China are in fact liars. While they may consider it OK to tell a lie a …

    Show more
    Explore related topics: china, children, parents, lie, behavior, parenting, featured, ed-flanagan, behind-the-wall
  • 26
    Dec
    2011
    1:39pm, EST

    How Kim Jong Un's looks may help him rule

    AP file

    The strong resemblance of Kim Jong Un (right) to his popular grandfather Kim Il Sung (left) may be subliminally creating warm feelings among his followers.

    By Rita Rubin

    Photographs show he has his grandfather’s double chin and dark eyebrows, and his haircut supposedly is a throwback to the older man’s style in the 1940s. Some reports speculate that Kim Jong Un has even undergone plastic surgery to make him look more like his popular grandfather, North Korea founder Kim Il Sung, and less like his father, Kim Jong Il, who was not as well-liked.

    Whether the resemblance to his grandfather has been inherited and/or surgically enhanced, it sure can’t hurt Kim Jong-Un, his late father’s handpicked successor to lead North Korea, psychologist Robert Bornstein says.  He'll likely benefit from the experience many of us have had of feeling warmly toward a person we’ve just met  simply because they resemble someone we like.

    “We tend to prefer things that seem familiar over the things that seem unfamiliar, all other things being equal,” says Bornstein, a psychology professor at Adelphi University in Garden City, N.Y. “People will prefer a familiar-looking face over one that is less familiar.”

    Psychologists call this phenomenon “the mere-exposure effect,” as in the mere exposure to someone or something leads to liking him or it. “It’s actually very powerful,” says Bornstein, who’s been studying the mere-exposure effect ever since he wrote his dissertation on it in the 1980s.

    There are 300 to 400 studies in the scientific literature about the phenomenon, mostly having to do with visual and auditory--“things like voices, accents, the cadence of a person’s voice”--characteristics. “If it rings a bell, then we do have this initial reflexive response to it,” Bornstein says.

    In other words, when it comes to North Korea dictators, like grandfather, like grandson.

    But can familiarity breed contempt as well as warm fuzzies? Maybe, Bornstein says, although there haven’t been nearly as many studies of that question. But some research suggests that if you meet someone who reminds you of, say, a hated boss, “you have sort of a negative gut reaction to them,” Bornstein says, “and it can be hard to overcome, partly because gut reactions are so powerful.”

    Have you had a rush of affection for a stranger just because they look like someone you care about? Tell us on Facebook.

    140 comments

    Well, the obvious difference is that the man on the left looks tanned and healthy. He looks robust, confident, and capable, AND he's smiling. The boy on the right looks like he was raised in a pickle barrel.

    Show more
    Explore related topics: behavior, kim-jon-il, kim-il-sung, kim-jong-un, mere-exposure

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Rita Rubin

Rita Rubin is a contributing health and parenting writer for msnbc.com and TODAY.com. Previously, she covered health and medicine for USA Today and U.S. News and World Report. She is also the author of What If I Have a C-Section?

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