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  • 20
    Feb
    2013
    5:36am, EST

    Study: Chinese parents bigger fibbers than American ones

    Alexander F. Yuan / AP, file

    A parent takes photos of her daughter playing the drums at a children's play area in a shopping mall in Beijing on Jan. 10.

    By Ed Flanagan, Producer, NBC News

    BEIJING -- Parents throughout the world have been known to tell a white lie to cajole dinner into a fussy child or explain the pile of gifts that appears under the Christmas tree as if by magic. 

    According to a new study, Chinese parents rank among the biggest fibbers. 

    The study in the International Journal of Psychology titled “Instrumental lying by parents in the US and China” found that most respondents -- 84 percent of Americans and 98 percent of Chinese -- admitted that they lied to their children. Chinese parents, however, were far more likely to lie to force changes in behavior, it found.

    “A larger proportion of the parents in China reported that they employed instrumental lietelling [sic] to promote behavioral compliance, and a larger proportion approved of this practice, as compared to the parents in the U.S.,” the authors said in the report.

    The researchers from the University of San Diego, the University of Toronto and Zhejiang Normal University interviewed 114 American and 85 Chinese parents who had at least one child aged 3 years or older.

    The participants were given a list of fibs and asked to report which ones they had told their children.

    For example, 68 percent of Chinese respondents reported telling their children, “If you don’t follow me, a kidnapper will come to kidnap you while I’m gone.” Only 18 percent of American respondents made similar claims.

    Sixty-one percent of the Chinese parents said they would tell their children, “Finish all your food or you’ll grow up to be short.” Just 10 percent of American parents utilized that particular little white lie.

    According to the study, Chinese parents surveyed told 15 out of the 16 “specific instrumental lies” at higher rates than American parents.

    More news from China in NBC's Behind the Wall

    The only exception was a false claim that there is no more candy in the house, which was reported by 57.5 percent of parents in the United States as compared with 42.9 percent of Chinese parents.

    American parents reported using more of what the study calls comparison lies -- untrue statements intended to generate positive feeling or to promote fantasy characters.

    Sixty percent of Americans said they would use the line, “That was beautiful piano playing,” even if they thought it sounded terrible. In contrast, 44 percent of Chinese declared they would lie in those circumstances.

    The results could be interpreted to mean that Chinese parents are more comfortable lying in general, but the study’s authors said that Chinese parents “made more negative evaluations of children’s lies,” and expressed more negative views than their American counterparts on fibs about fantasy characters like Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. Indeed, 88 percent of American respondents said they had used the lie, “Santa Claus will come to deliver your present on Christmas Eve.”

    The study suggested that the wide acceptance of parental lying among Chinese adults could be driven by a strong desire for social cohesiveness and an emphasis on respect and obedience, according to the authors.

    In other words, lying can be an effective tool in socializing children.

    Or as one Chinese parent put it, “When teaching children, it is okay to use well-intentioned lies. It can promote positive development and prevent your child from going astray.”

    98 comments

    I for one can vouch that the Chinese are great liars. As an EBAY buyer I see all the sellers from China selling brand new reproductions as "antique". In fact if you look you will see perhaps that 99.9% of the sellers on Ebay from China are in fact liars. While they may consider it OK to tell a lie a …

    Show more
    Explore related topics: china, children, parents, lie, behavior, parenting, featured, ed-flanagan, behind-the-wall
  • 24
    Nov
    2012
    6:58am, EST

    Kids removed from UK couple over support for 'independence' from Europe

    By Ian Johnston, NBC News

    LONDON -- Three children were removed from the care of an English couple because their support for the U.K. Independence Party meant they were unsuitable to provide foster care, an official said Saturday.

    Local government body Rotherham Council said that the three children were not “indigenous white British” and that social workers had raised concerns about the UKIP political party’s stance on immigration, ITV News reported.

    Joyce Thacker, the director for children and young people's services at Rotherham Council, told BBC News that the children were placed with the couple on an emergency basis and were not due to remain with them permanently. She confirmed they had been removed from the couple's care.

    “If the party [UKIP] mantra … is ending the active promotion of multiculturalism, I have to think about that,” she added. “I think they [UKIP] have very clear views on immigration.”

    She told the BBC that the decision had not been “easy” and she did not think UKIP was a “racist party.”

    'Ruled by this regime'
    UKIP campaigns for Britain to withdraw from the European Union, saying "we do not have to be ruled by this regime" in order to trade with European countries.

    On immigration, it says "the tide of mass EU immigration has pushed down wages and restricted job opportunities. Only by leaving the EU can we regain control of our borders." The party is calling for a permanent immigration freeze for 5 years and says immigrants "must be fluent in English, have minimum education levels and show they can financially support themselves."

    Read more UK and world stories from ITV News

    UKIP party leader Nigel Farage said in messages on Twitter that the authorities “clearly have no understanding of UKIP and by their actions, clearly no desire to know.”

    He said the council was “partially backtracking” by saying the couple would still be allowed “to adopt. But by the sounds of it, only white children. New Apardheid? [sic]” 

    Read more World stories from NBC News

    The British Education Secretary Michael Gove, a member of the center-right Conservative Party, also attacked the decision, ITV News reported.

    “Rotherham's reasons for denying this family the chance to foster are indefensible. The ideology behind their decision is actively harmful to children,” he said.

    “We should not allow considerations of ethnic or cultural background to prevent children being placed with loving and stable families. We need more parents to foster, and many more to adopt,” he added.

    The center-left Labour Party said in a message on Twitter that “Membership of UKIP shouldn't block parents from adopting children. There needs to be an urgent investigation by Rotherham Council into this.”

    ITV News is an NBC News partner.

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    116 comments

    Good lord, what a bunch of left-wing drones on these messageboards. So if I happen to believe that "immigrants must be fluent in English, have minimum education levels and show they can financially support themselves" and want to pull the US out of NAFTA, I shouldn't be allowed to be a foster parent …

    Show more
    Explore related topics: europe, children, parents, foster, independence, featured, ukip
  • 23
    May
    2012
    9:47am, EDT

    Dead UK teen's sister: Our parents murdered her over Westernized lifestyle

    PA via AP, file

    Shafilea Ahmed was allegedly murdered by her parents.

    By ITV News and msnbc.com staff

    LONDON -- A young woman has told a court in England that as a child she witnessed her 17-year-old sister being murdered by their parents after a months-long quarrel about the teen's Westernized lifestyle.

    Alesha Ahmed, 22, who is in a witness protection program, told a court in Chester, England, that she watched as her parents suffocated Shafilea Ahmed at their family home in Warrington in 2003, ITV News reported.


    Prosecutor Andrew Edis told the court Tuesday that Iftikhar Ahmed, 52, and Farzana Ahmed, 49, put their hands over their daughter's face "to close her airways so she could not breathe" and that "she had a bag forced into her mouth."

    Read more on this story from ITV News

    'Dishonored the family'
    Edis said that they murdered their daughter -- after “having spent the best part of 12 months trying to really crush her” – because she had “dishonored the family, bringing shame on them.” The family is of Pakistani origin.

    Alesha Ahmed told the court Tuesday that her parents would often argue with their older daughter over the clothes she wore, her friends and who she was speaking to on the phone.


    Follow @msnbc_world

    “Shafilea was leading a life she thought our parents would not approve of ... There would be physical abuse directed at Shafilea. It was both of them. My mum more because she was at home more,” she said, according to ITV News.

    “There was an incident in the kitchen, she had her hair in a plait and my parents had a knife to scare her. They passed the knife between them. I was in the kitchen then ran off,” she added. “They were just hitting her. It was frantic and out of control and she just sat there taking it. The knife was used to scare her. After I saw she had marks on her neck.”

    Alesha Ahmed did not tell police that she had witnessed her sister’s death until 2010 after she was arrested over a robbery at her parents’ house, ITV News reported. She is still to be sentenced over that offense, but Edis said she had not been given “any promises or indeed any inducement prior to when she first made these allegations.”

    Read more stories from Britain's ITV News

    Edis said her claim was either the truth or “a wicked lie made up to help herself.”

    The court heard that police had secretly put a listening device into the Ahmeds’ home in November 2003 when Shafilea Ahmed was still considered as a missing person.

    Three Canadians jailed for life for 'honor killings'

    Farzana Ahmed was heard telling one of her other children, “if the slightest thing comes out of your mouth, we will be stuck in real trouble. Remember that,” ITV News reported.

    'Honor killings' require tougher laws, Iraqi women say

    The Guardian newspaper said that Iftikhar Ahmed was heard saying, “By getting the support of newspapers, you can get away with murder.”

    Honor killings: Moms accused of slaying 2 brides

    Edis said the father was also heard saying “What are they going to find in the car?”, while his wife said “Even if they find saliva in the car, it’s not as if she didn’t sit in the car.”

    The dead girl’s body was found beside the River Kent in Cumbria, England, in February 2004.

    More world news from msnbc.com and NBC News:

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    Follow us on Twitter: @msnbc_world

    985 comments

    Evil rationale.

    Show more
    Explore related topics: england, killing, murder, parents, honor, featured, shafilea-ahmed

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